Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
