He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
