so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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