i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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