She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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