he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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