so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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