I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
