I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
