Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize