fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
