Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
