But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
