thus making me awesome and them whores
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize