I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
