I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
