I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize