I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
