Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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