theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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