I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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