so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
