Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize