So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
