RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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