forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
