Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
