She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
