some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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