And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
