The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
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