the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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