i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
