It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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