how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
