Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
