i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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