I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
