Small penises have feelings too.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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