Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
