I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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