i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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