i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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