just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she smelled like a LAN party
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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