She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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