i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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