Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on

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  (607): I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on http://tfl.nu/pu4k
  Replies (2) Good night (2206) Bad night (868)
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  (310): View more from California

  My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra

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  (310): My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra http://tfl.nu/y9he
  Replies (62) Good night (9736) Bad night (1176)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?

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  (305): If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me? http://tfl.nu/0xff
  Replies (13) Good night (640) Bad night (2163)
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  (510): View more from California

  Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.

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  (510): Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing. http://tfl.nu/2643
  Replies (52) Good night (4771) Bad night (629)
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  (858): View more from California

  I'll start drinking again when I know where I am

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  (858): I'll start drinking again when I know where I am http://tfl.nu/a7gj
  Replies (24) Good night (4937) Bad night (768)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you

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  (207): so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you http://tfl.nu/yn2g
  Replies (9) Good night (4553) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his

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  (251): Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his http://tfl.nu/lwp2
  Replies (26) Good night (1310) Bad night (6891)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.

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  (937): so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had. http://tfl.nu/vdqf
  Replies (8) Good night (1731) Bad night (4647)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it

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  (847): If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it http://tfl.nu/cx6g
  Replies (6) Good night (2230) Bad night (706)
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  (209): View more from California

  Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something

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  (209): Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something http://tfl.nu/htcf
  Replies (23) Good night (1038) Bad night (3430)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!

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  (617): Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon! http://tfl.nu/3ja6
  Replies (5) Good night (1187) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.

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  (508): Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada. http://tfl.nu/kq1p
  Replies (5) Good night (332) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill

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  (507): Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill http://tfl.nu/0ptc
  Replies (4) Good night (429) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk

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  (315): Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk http://tfl.nu/g5v5
  Replies (1) Good night (883) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.

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  (617): He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans. http://tfl.nu/bqwm
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (284)

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