I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
