I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
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I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?