ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore