So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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