This girl is more easily done than said...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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