Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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