i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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