Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
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Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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