My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
