i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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