dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my sisters under your porch take her home
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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