Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
