you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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