She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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