im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
