Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
