Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
